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Humor Magazine, New Work List For The Human Race; Given Our Current Work Habits, We Sure Could Use One
by Tom Attea
Wouldn’t it be revelatory if a helpful hand would came out of the clouds and give the human race a new work list? Given our present doings, we sure could use one.
But, since the hand does not seem to be forthcoming, we decided to take the hint and do our best to help develop one. To get the new work list started, we present the following recap of our current work list and then our suggestions for inclusion in a new work list.
First, let’s review the regrettable list humans have been working on.
Current Work List 1. War of the week 2. Terrorism as a mistaken assignment from the CEO 3. Office politics as usual 4. Religious beliefs even doubted by the kids in daycare 5. Mandated sexual behavior 6. Murder as an unsatisfactory solution to disputes, etc.
7. Robbery as a frequent perk 8. Kidnapping for a bonus 9. Bad news as an everyday effluent 10. Catty comments about personal trivia 11. Intolerant attitudes about fashion preferences 12. Wasteful methods of production 13. General dereliction in regard to care of headquarters worldwide 14. Hoping for outplacement 15. Confused mission statement; a real hodgepodge As a fellow worker in the fields of human endeavor, what do you think? Our opinion is, we’re in trouble.
Now, let’s take a look at our suggestions for a start on a new work list.
New Work List 1. Peaceful conduct at all times 2. Terrorism as cause for dismissal 3. Office politics based on mutual consideration 4. Religious beliefs acceptable even by the legal department, namely, based on the sanctity of life, with all its finite and infinite implications, including the freedom of all staffers to make what they consider responsible decisions in regard to on-the-job performance and in their personal lives 5. Recognition of all sexual behavior among consenting adults that does not result in physical injury 6. Kindness as the usual modus operandi 7. Respect for individual and company property 8. Napping in preference to kidnapping 9. Good news as an everyday effluent 10. Limit cattiness about personal trivia to private snickering 11. Tolerant attitudes about even unsightly fashion preferences 12. Efficient methods of production 13. Care and repair of headquarters worldwide 14. Worker contentment 15. Clear Mission Statement. Suggested theme: “Have faith in life; it’s smarter than we are” We like it.
If you agree, share this starter list with your friends. Add your own ideas, as long as they’re life-enhancing.
If somebody prefers the old list, tell them the famous story of what Diogenes The Cynic said to Alexander the Great when the storied warrior decided to visit the Cynic, who was sunning himself.
Alexander approached the professionally impoverished philosopher, who reportedly lived in a clay barrel, and asked, “Oh, great Diogenes, tell me what you would like me to do for you and I will grant it.” Diogenes replied, “Please, step a little to the side. You’re blocking the sunlight.” About The Author: Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."
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You may want to try these websites for additional information
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_Humor
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The information provided in this article is the express opinion of the author. Exchangenet is not responsible for the content!
Wouldn’t it be revelatory if a helpful hand would came out of the clouds and give the human race a new work list? Given our present doings, we sure could use one.
But, since the hand does not seem to be forthcoming, we decided to take the hint and do our best to help develop one. To get the new work list started, we present the following recap of our current work list and then our suggestions for inclusion in a new work list.
First, let’s review the regrettable list humans have been working on.
Current Work List 1. War of the week 2. Terrorism as a mistaken assignment from the CEO 3. Office politics as usual 4. Religious beliefs even doubted by the kids in daycare 5. Mandated sexual behavior 6. Murder as an unsatisfactory solution to disputes, etc.
7. Robbery as a frequent perk 8. Kidnapping for a bonus 9. Bad news as an everyday effluent 10. Catty comments about personal trivia 11. Intolerant attitudes about fashion preferences 12. Wasteful methods of production 13. General dereliction in regard to care of headquarters worldwide 14. Hoping for outplacement 15. Confused mission statement; a real hodgepodge As a fellow worker in the fields of human endeavor, what do you think? Our opinion is, we’re in trouble.
Now, let’s take a look at our suggestions for a start on a new work list.
New Work List 1. Peaceful conduct at all times 2. Terrorism as cause for dismissal 3. Office politics based on mutual consideration 4. Religious beliefs acceptable even by the legal department, namely, based on the sanctity of life, with all its finite and infinite implications, including the freedom of all staffers to make what they consider responsible decisions in regard to on-the-job performance and in their personal lives 5. Recognition of all sexual behavior among consenting adults that does not result in physical injury 6. Kindness as the usual modus operandi 7. Respect for individual and company property 8. Napping in preference to kidnapping 9. Good news as an everyday effluent 10. Limit cattiness about personal trivia to private snickering 11. Tolerant attitudes about even unsightly fashion preferences 12. Efficient methods of production 13. Care and repair of headquarters worldwide 14. Worker contentment 15. Clear Mission Statement. Suggested theme: “Have faith in life; it’s smarter than we are” We like it.
If you agree, share this starter list with your friends. Add your own ideas, as long as they’re life-enhancing.
If somebody prefers the old list, tell them the famous story of what Diogenes The Cynic said to Alexander the Great when the storied warrior decided to visit the Cynic, who was sunning himself.
Alexander approached the professionally impoverished philosopher, who reportedly lived in a clay barrel, and asked, “Oh, great Diogenes, tell me what you would like me to do for you and I will grant it.” Diogenes replied, “Please, step a little to the side. You’re blocking the sunlight.” About The Author: Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."
These articles on lifestyle and more
Reprint this article free of charge as long as you keep the author's resource box or bio intact and the links active. A copy of the ezine or URL of the page where the article was reprinted emailed to the author would be very much appreciated. humor magazine
Return to the selection of humor magazine
You may want to try these articles on humor magazine
Humor Magazine, Bin Laden’s Garden Of Earthly Frights by Tom Attea Approximately 1904 Words
Humor Magazine, Iranian Kook Rejects Nuke Rebuke, Despite Fluke by Tom Attea Approximately 388 Words
Humor Magazine, Aye, Capt’n Bush, 'tis Not Only The Storm But The Navigation by Tom Attea Approximately 1466 Words
Humor Magazine, U. S. May Become Nonaligned Nation; Cites Worldwide Ingratitude by Tom Attea Approximately 1153 Words
Humor Magazine, Lady Macbeth Just Won’t Make Her Exit; Now She’s A Syndrome by Tom Attea Approximately 389 Words
Humor Magazine, The Invention Of Sex; An Eyewitness Account - First Half Of Part One, "the Invention Of Everything" by Tom Attea Approximately 1813 Words
Humor Magazine, What If The Most Powerful Nation On Earth Was Iran? by Tom Attea Approximately 860 Words
You may want to try these websites for additional information
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_Humor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonsense_humor_magazine
http://www.thenewz.com/
The information provided in this article is the express opinion of the author. Exchangenet is not responsible for the content!
