Humor Magazine, The Invention Of Water And Air Creatures; Second Half Of Part Six, The Invention Of Everything

by Tom Attea

“I’ll go along with that. You were talking about developing a way for the creatures in the water to breathe. How’d you manage that?” “Gil had an insight, so we call it gills. Let me take this little fella out and demonstrate for a moment. Excuse me, he’s kind of feisty. Got ya! OK, now look here. See these little red things just behind its head.” “Yeah. Those the gills?” “Right.” “How do they work?” “The fish uses its mouth and these flaps to move water over them, and the little red wonders nip out the O2 and give back CO2.” “Which the plants in the water can’t wait to breathe in?” “Exactamundo! Now, I can go into detail as long as you want me to, but that’s basically what happens in the water. Just let me remind you about the stuff that floats on it. Remember plankton?” “Who could forget? We know. Elemental teamwork with the creatures that breathe in O2 and breathe out CO2. It breathes in CO2 and sends out O2.” “Right. A lot, too, because there's going to be a lot of it. ” “So let me recap. The whole shebang starts in hot water. Then we get creatures that inhabit every possible nook and cranny that can support them — under the bottom, on the bottom, above the bottom, and right on top. Am I right?” “That about covers it. Of course, as the atoms and molecules respond, they can create quite an array of creatures. Our thoughts are still taking shape but overall we plan to provide for a perfectly flexible response, which, of course, would lead to perfectly appropriate variety. At least, that’s the plan. All the life that fits. ” “Excellent. So have we covered the water creatures sufficiently?” “Almost. We still have to talk about the creatures that swim on top of it and fly over it. That, of course, brings us to the air creatures. ” “What do you call those?” “Collectively, birds. These we named water birds.” “They can actually float on the water and fly up into the sky? How so?” “Let me move to the birdcage. Excuse me. I put this cover on them to keep them quiet. See. The plan is that they develop these big flat hands that they wave back and forth. In the process, they beat against the air and the air beats back.” “Sort of like the way swimming works?” “Yeah, only a lighter take on it.” “But how do they stay up there? Looks like a pretty plump critter just to be flitting around in the sky.” “That was a real brain teaser. But we finally realized two things. First, we could give the air creatures hollow bones, which would be much lighter.” “Good thought.” “Yeah, but it still wasn’t quite enough. The thick hair that was intended to keep them warm weighed them down.” “What hair? I don't see any of the usual type. ” “I see you noticed. We developed this special kind of hair that would be lighter. “ “Interesting. But how so lighter? The strands look much thicker.” “Yeah, but the main part is hollow.” “Like the bones?” “Right. We call them feathers.” “Feathers, as in?” “Flying in all kinds of weather.” “Makes sense. I assume at some point they get tired of flying around?" "Yes, they do." "What do they do at that point." "Land." "I know we have land. I mean, what do they do? Come down onto the land?" "Or the water. Either one. Oh, I should mention where they eat." "I assume when they're not flying around?" "Not necessarily. Remember I said we had bugs that go under the bottom of the water. Well, we also have bugs that go just about everywhere." "Don't tell me, even in the sky?" "Yeah. Wherever the little buggers can find a livable niche." "And the birds can catch them even when they're both flying around?" "Yeah. The aeronautical math was a bit challenging, but we were able to work out how the bird and the bug could intersect, even when the bug was doing everything possible to avoid the conjunction. Of course, life won't always be that challenging. The birds and the bugs will also be able to alight here and there and chow down." "Sounds advisable. Anything else?” Well, at some point we have to get creatures onto the land, and we thought, Wow, why not tap into the creatures that are already in the water?” “Seems like the right tactic. But I think that moves us into the next meeting — the land creatures. Agreed?” “Yep.” “Inspired work. Really. Tell the people in tech I commend them." "Thanks. I'll be sure to forward you compliment." "Seems to me we now have a good handle on creatures that go in the water and the sky. Let’s adjourn for today. Tomorrow, we do the land creatures.” So now we had made the big transition from setting the stage to starting to populate it. We had the water and the sky behind us, and the land creatures were just ahead. I kept wondering, What could go on the land that’s different from what we invented to go in the water and the sky? Oh, I suppose the unique attributes of life on land would do a lot to guide our thinking.
About The Author: Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."
These articles on lifestyle and more

Reprint this article free of charge as long as you keep the author's resource box or bio intact and the links active. A copy of the ezine or URL of the page where the article was reprinted emailed to the author would be very much appreciated. humor magazine

Return to the selection of humor magazine

The information provided in this article is the express opinion of the author. Exchangenet is not responsible for the content!